G gets F

atorade - from here on out referred by its new moniker, G - is confusing us.


Let's start with the initial campaign, "What is G?" It scrolls through on-camera appearances of every big name in sports past and present with a V/O that sounds like he's reading from the agency brief: "G is golden, G is glamorous, G is gritty...." It plays through to the point that you think it's a spoof. Like the next guy coming will be making S'mores (G is for graham crackers) or sporting a jogging suit and a gun (G is for Gandolfini).

And then there's the commercial with John Wooden who looks like either A)he doesn't know where he is, B)he doesn't know what the commercial is for or C)all of the above, and then some. We won't show it out of respect for the Wizard of Westwood.

And now we have the Quest for G: the Monty Python take-off.
To be fair, the web site brings it to life a lot better, but the whole thing falls woefully flat given the potential, even in the bright spots (by default). Sure the face-off with the Jabbowockeez is cool and has a huge offline following, but when Mel Brooks marries hip-hop with history better than you, you've got a problem (Granted, he had Dave Chapelle.) Although, we do give a big thumb's up for the appearance of Usain Bolt's ego. Too bad it's lost in a please-everybody ensemble cast.

Speaking of getting lost in this ensemble cast, it seems that the sports drink formerly known as Gatorade forgot the most obvious tie-in: G is for Garnett. Let the Captain of the Fun Police out and play with this ridiculous premise, instead of locking him into playing out a bad movie. You don't have to move a plot along. And you certainly don't have to stick to the script. Launch mascots instead of farm animals and underwear from the French fortress. Instead of the French, how about making refs or Sixers fans the antagonists? Change the fire-breathing poodle to the Phoenix Gorilla or San Diego Chicken. Get silly with it, for the love of G!

It just seems that it is getting shared on YouTube and other sites in large part because there is a strong relationship between those who like computers and those who like Monty Python and those who didn't date a lot in high school. This author being one of them. It just seems remarkable that this is the impression G wants to put out there.

Hopefully, G will find the good sense next time to give us something completely different.