Say it ain’t so.

It’s over. The Beckhams of Wasilla, Bristol Palin and fiancé Levi Johnston have called off their engagement.

Things seemed so perfect-- the shiny new baby Tripp, a wardrobe of convention apparel, correctly-spelled tattoos, hopes of a high school diploma (or equivalent) and an even bigger hope of keys to the kingdom in 2012. But all that was not powerful enough to defeat the class system in Alaska. You see, the Tina Fey family lives on one side of the hill while the Levi Strauss clan lives on the other side. And ne’er the two shall meet. Oh, the tragedy for these star-crossed youth parents.

So return your gift cards to the Big Game Pro Shop. The ceremony is off.

Alas, one can’t help but wonder if controlling mothers, or mothers on controlled substances, played a part. Youbetcha. Or maybe the flash bulbs were too hot and the jealous glances too cold…. even for these hearty Alaskans.

If they can’t make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?