The hardest working man in sports

Mascots don't scare my 5 year old son. They frighten the living daylights out of him. I've explained they are just people dressed up in suits and they won't touch you. I even tried explaining to him that daddy used to be a mascot. Doesn't matter. He doesn't like them. Has never liked them. Will not ever like them.

Maybe Tim Klarich can help. Tim is 'The Hawk' of St. Joseph's University. What makes The Hawk the greatest thing ever? During basketball games - from opening tip all the way to the final buzzer - he flaps his wings. Constantly. Without ceasing. Imagine flapping your arms over and over for 5 minutes. Now imagine doing it in for 3 hours. Most of us sitting in the stands don't like doing 'the wave' whenever it comes around more than three times.

The St. Joseph motto is "The Hawk Will Never Die." And for over 50 years the mascot has delivered. Someone estimated The Hawk flaps his wings 3,500 times in one regulation game. And if that game goes into triple-overtime, well, Tim downs a red bull and keeps on flapping. Hey, they take their motto seriously at St. Joseph. The game's not over until the fat lady sings, or the skinny mascot kid passes out.

I don't know if their basketball team stinks, but I know Tim does. Because he never takes a timeout. Not even during one. When any timeout is called, Tim sprints on to the court to perform figure eights. Going all out sweating up his feather covered snuggie. Tim is not only a great mascot, but is immune to the Freshman 15.

Being a mascot is like running on a treadmill in a sauna wearing Shaquille O'Neal's shoes. You can't talk and can barely see. It's gruelling, hard labor. And it's the coolest thing in the world.

Now if I can just convince my five year old.